A few notes on women...

I don't want to give the impression that my blog is all about women and their flaws. Only 47% of it will be, I promise.

1) Women routinely call men dogs. I can see this as nothing but a compliment. Dogs are universally loyal, content with those they love, and have simple wants and needs. They will let you know openly and honestly what they are thinking and what they want and will always stand by you. When a cat gets run over by a car, you shake your head and move on. When Lassie dies everyone cries.

2) Why do women love daytime talk shows so much? Could it be that the groupthink of many women is how an individual woman bases her thought process? Does she feel the need to have her whole character proofread by the prevailing social norms before saying to herself "This is what I believe and what I will stand for!" Men's talk shows are virtually non-existant and the few short-lived ones are mostly for fun like The Man Show. Oprah is a billionaire.

3) As bad as it sounds, on paper women are a quatifiable economic good, amazingly beholden to the laws of supply and demand. A 22 year old hottie can ask a high price for her attentions (money, good-looks, status) and still have many potential buyers. A 42 year old lawyer can want the same, but not reasonably expect much of a bid and from only a few (if any) potential buyers. There is another good that works very much like this: a 1982 Datsun. Back in the day it was seen as a pretty cool foreign car, now only poor people looking for a cheap ride for the short term will even consider it. Such is life.

4) On the reverse side, men work in the opposite of this. Almost like wine or a good scotch. When we are young, we are fairly awkward and immature, with little money and stability. As we age, confidence and status grow, while our looks do not diminish. The demand increases. No this is not fair. Neither is death, but no one has been able to successfully legislate that yet. Sorry.

5) There are three things a woman can do to keep a man enamored. Stay in reasonable shape. Brush her teeth. Ask him to do something she can't do once in a while and say thank you for it. That's basically it. I would post the list for men, but a 1500 page blog entry that I am constantly having to edit would be ridiculous.

6) Women - if you want to be independant and have an attitude like a man, then act like a man and live with a man's consequences. If you want to be loved and treated like a lady, act like one. We men instinctively know one when we see one and act accordingly. There is no middle ground.

7) If you choose option one from above you forfeit your right to ever get upset about men and their sexual behaviors. It is in a man's nature to want to be with many women and hence it is your job to convince us otherwise by your actions. If you want to act like a man and sleep around like a man, you are only making our basic instincts easier to satisfy, while sounding like a spoiled hypocrite.

8) If you really love a man, you will talk dirty to him. I may not speak for the lot of men, but I judge my intamacy with a women by how much she allows herself to let go with me and vice versa.

9) Not a single straight man has ever noticed your shoes, fingernail/toenail polish, purse, or jewelry. However we keenly observe dozens of round asses, ample chests, and pretty faces everyday. Perhaps only 4 pairs of shoes and a gym membership would be better if you are looking to find and or keep a man.

10) When you hear a brave enough man say that women should have never been given the vote, stop and think about why he is saying that instead of automatically dismissing him as a woman-hater. He may actually have legitimate reasons. Ask him sincerely to explain. You might even fall in love with him. Or not. Who cares?

More as I see fit later...